


Every road leads to the unknown

by chiapslock



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, I just want everyone to agree that Keith is the softest boy, M/M, Spoilers for Keith's Vlog
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-21
Updated: 2017-09-21
Packaged: 2019-01-03 19:03:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12152883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chiapslock/pseuds/chiapslock
Summary: He stops when he realizes where he is. He looks up at Shiro’s door and wonders why his feet brought him there—as if he doesn’t already know the answer.This is still the only place Keith wants to be when he feels vulnerable.[A coda to Keith's Vlog]





	Every road leads to the unknown

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know okay??? I just really needed something after that video.

He doesn’t know why he went along with it. He had told them he wasn’t good with things like that, _talking_. And now he feels the stings of his own tears, and his own hollow voice.

Keith hadn’t thought about his mother in a while, not really. It had been an absence that had defined his whole life, but he tried to block her memory out as much as he could.

It had been impossible since the discovery of his Galra heritage, since the nagging doubt that the reason why she had left him had been related to that. And yet, at the core of it all, she had left. That seems to be the recurring theme of Keith’s life, after all.

There has to be a way to delete the recording, even if Coran had promised they were personal, nothing more of a diary. He still doesn’t want _that_ to exist, someone to see something so personal. Something he doesn’t want them to know.

He stops when he realizes where he is. He looks up at Shiro’s door and wonders why his feet brought him there—as if he doesn’t already know the answer.

Keith hesitates, still feeling raw and delicate. His skin feels aflame with shame, with guilt and an anger he can’t control. His relationship with Shiro has been rocky ever since his return, even if both of them are making an effort.

And yet this is still the only place Keith wants to be when he feels vulnerable.

He doesn’t knock, doesn’t really care if Shiro is in or not, and enters the room with a confidence he doesn’t feel. Shiro is seated on the bed and he looks up, surprised. Keith doesn’t know if he’s happy that he’s here.

“Keith? What…” Shiro stops and looks at him. Keith knows he has always been an ugly crier—his eyes become puffy, his whole face blotched, he might even have a runny nose— and he can see in Shiro’s eyes the moment he realizes. The other doesn’t really say anything, he just pats the bed beside him and Keith nods, relieved.

He sits and pretends there isn’t enough space to position himself further away from Shiro. The other doesn’t say anything about it and just accepts it.

Normally when he gets like this Keith doesn’t really want to talk. Words are his enemies, always harsher than he means them, or never the right ones. And yet there are so many words inside of him now, he needs them out and Shiro has always been the only one able to make sense of it all for him.

Keith takes his dagger out and looks at it, playing with the hilt “I don’t know who I am anymore” he says, whispers like it’s something shameful. He has already talked to Shiro about his doubts, tried to anyway, but he thinks he had never meant it like now.

Shiro stays silent for a second before reaching towards him, touching his hand “You’re Keith. That hasn’t changed”

“Then why it feels like it _has_?” his voice is harsh, painful to his own throat. Fear, anger and betrayal rise up inside of him, a bile that leaves an acid taste in his mouth “Everything about me feels like it was changed by this. Me, my mom… _everything_ ”

“We don’t know if she…” Shiro starts, reasonable. Because of course they don’t. Keith had given away that knowledge that day at the Blades’ headquarters.

“Bullshit!” he explodes anyway. Anger is easier to face than everything else he’s feeling “my father was a boring human. My mother was never there! Maybe she left because she was Galra. Maybe… maybe she…”

Shiro doesn’t say anything, doesn’t even move, and for some reason this makes him angrier. He has come here for something, for some kind word, for a moment of comfort.

“She left me. She… and I hate her for it. You know that?” he hisses in the silence of the room “I hate her so much. And then everyone else leaves too and maybe it’s not her. It’s _me_ ”

“Keith” Shiro finally says, his voice firm but gentle “there’s nothing wrong with you. Nothing…”

“You left me too!” Keith can’t help but say, hurt. He knows he’s being unfair, but he can’t stop “You left me to go to Kerberos. And then you disappeared after the battle and you _keep leaving me_ just like everyone else”.

He’s panting and he realizes that he had yelled the last part, because just thinking about it hurts more than he can say. Hurting Shiro is the last thing he wants to do, but he can’t stop.

A part of him expects Shiro to fight this, to yell and remind Keith it had never been his choice. That while Keith had been safe Shiro had endured tortures that he couldn’t even imagine. Shiro can be petty if he wants and Keith knows he’s pushing all his button, all the guilty parts inside of him that hurt every single day.

Shiro has always been a better person than him.

“I always come back” his voice is kind, softer, but sure “doesn’t matter where I go. Doesn’t matter what happens. I always come back for you, Keith” he says it like it’s a promise more than anything else. He says it like it’s an offering.

Keith is crying again before he even realizes it.

There are no certainty in life, and even less in a war, but the words heal his wounds. Shiro puts his arm on his shoulders and the sole contact soothes his raw soul. Shiro is a firm presence at his side and Keith lets himself fall.

He turns and hides his face on Shiro’s chest, heaving between the sobs. His cry is an ugly affair but Shiro just hugs him tighter.

Keith remembers at the Garrison. Remembers the first time he had met Shiro and how Keith had basically ignored him. Shiro had laughed and had told him he liked him and Keith hadn’t really understood what that meant. No one had ever really liked Keith.

It had been his fault more than anything else, but Shiro had been _there_. For months. Keith had pushed him away, had snarled, had beat his scores just to be petty. Shiro had laughed and beaten them again, challenging him to do it again.

Keith doesn’t remember, however, the moment he had fallen in love with Shiro, it had been somewhere in the middle, slowly and all at once.

“If you don’t” he tells him now, crying “I will come to you and force you to come back”

Shiro laughs and holds him tighter “I wouldn’t expect anything less of you”


End file.
